Interview with FalseAlias

LIL MONSTER: So as you know, I make this up as I go. So False Alias, is that your real name?

FALSE ALIAS: Well. It would be highly unlikely that I'd get a bank account in this name, but if I do I'll let you know. If it passes as real by the bank then I'll take it.

LM: Mr. F Alias. How long have you been in the BL world?

FA: Since November 14th, 2015.

LM: Wow so you literally have the exact date you became a BL?

FA: Not quite "became a BL," but the date I became aware of boylove as being an actual thing, yes. I'd seen Boylinks a few times before, but I'd never really investigated anything on it.

LM: How did it happen?

FA: I found the name of BLOL funny because of the "LOL" part of it. The banner advertised friendship and support, and in November of 2015, I did need both of those. 2015 was a difficult year for me. November was a nice month by comparison to the months prior.

LM: Oh why?

FA: Made nicer by my newfound happiness in joining a place where my attraction to boys was more widely accepted. 2015 is the year I discovered I liked boys. No doubt we all know the hysteria the media puts out about paedophiles and how "vicious" we are. I believed them, and I hated myself because I was terrified of becoming one of those you hear about on TV. The media is wrong about us, or most of us, but I didn't know any better back in the early months of 2015. I clawed myself in 2015.

LM: So it upset you being BL?

FA: I was afraid of becoming one of those guys who rapes boys. I told myself, a lot, that "I shouldn't be interested in children, it's wrong." To me, merely being interested was a sign that I'd turn into something really bad. I think upset is a huge understatement. I didn't know better though. For months the thought of being "bad" tortured me. I suffered everywhere because of it. I was afraid to even look at a boy. It was difficult for me. 2015 was a difficult year overall.

LM: *Hug* I can relate to that, and so can a lot of others.

FA: I know I'm not alone now, but I never really knew that before.

LM: How old were you when you first looked at a boy?

FA: Sexually, or just looked at all? The first time I looked at a boy sexually, I'd say I was 16 or 17. I've fantasized younger than that though.

LM: Yes admired, sexually or otherwise. First crush.

FA: First crush? 14. I was 14, and he was 12 or 13. For reason I could never understand, looking at him made me feel all weird. There wasn't, and still isn't, words for it. I really liked him and I knew nothing about him. I tried to talk to him, and failed. I wasn't broken by that. He had a lack of interest in me anyway. I'd contemplated the thought that he might think I'm gay, but 14-year-old me didn't even know I liked boys. I must've looked strange to him.

LM: How come?

FA: Imagine you're 13, and straight. Now imagine a random 14-year-old boy you've never met, messaging you, with messages which might as well look flustered and are pretty much the image of blushing but in text. I think it's safe to say he thought I was strange.

LM: Be right back.

FA: Alright.

LM: Back. Sorry. Do you think it's cute when teens get crushes?

FA: It definitely can be. I know that some teens are really cute when they like someone, and others try to show off.

LM: What is your AoA?

FA: AoA? I've never managed to "solidify" it. I'm not sure where it sits entirely, but I'd say around 5 to 12/13. At a push, 14.

LM: AoA can be fluid. It is for me. What's your favourite superhero?

FA: I've absolutely no idea. I'm inclined to say Iron Man but is he too modern? It's the tech and science bits that draw me in more I guess.

LM: No, there are a lot of modern superheros they all count. Did you ever have Iron Man underwesr growing up?

FA: Nope. As a boy I wasn't into superhero stuff. As a boy I wasn't really into anything stereotypical boys are into. I have Asperger's so I was a bit different growing up. I remember playing Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas when I was 9. Toy cars and lego were my childhood up until I got a computer of my own.

LM: I loved that game. Mount Chiliad. What do you think of the age of the Snoopers Charter?

FA: I don't want people knowing that I have sexual thoughts about young boys. At least, not the police and the government.

LM: Do you think it will be scrapped or become the start of something worse for us child lovers?

FA: I think that it's going to stay around. The British government has a thing for prosecuting "child molesters," so anything that can help catch them will inevitably stay. The charter is complex. It grants a lot of powers to police forces. Removing it would be a loss to their abilities and they wouldn't tolerate that.

LM: If you could have breakfast with any boy on the planet, what would you have?

FA: The boy or the breakfast? I know who I'd have it with, easy. I'm not sure what I'd have though. I'm what my mother calls a "fussy eater," and even I agree that's a understatement.

LM: Oh, what's your favourite food?

FA: Right now, not 100 percent sure. I eat a lot of crumpets, or I have been as of recently. The most stereotypically British thing to do.

LM: Crumpets are cool.

FA: Crumpets. I agree very much, they're nice.

LM: Not sure what our foreign readers would think of that LOL.

FA: I'll be having two after I get up tomorrow morning.

LM: Mmm lots of melted butter?

FA: Enough to cause a little bit of transparent butter on the breadboard afterwards, yes. Four minutes in the toaster, one minute buttering. Five minutes to eat them both, if not less. Should we race and see who's faster?

LM: Mmmmmmm, so go on then tell me ... who you'd like to have crumpets with?

FA: Probably the 4-year-old boy I'm in love with. Name withheld for obvious reasons. I'd do everything with him if I could just be with him more. A single Saturday or two every month isn't nearly enough. He doesn't want to go and I never want him to go either. I would certainly wake up with him and have breakfast with him too.

LM: Aww that's very cute.

FA: Is 4 too young? Right now I have minimul sexual interest, but I know when he's 7 or 8 I'll definitely be much more attracted to him. I suppose what I ask is ... is 4 too young of an age to be in love with?

LM: As long as you look but don't touch it's fine. Love is never wrong.

FA: I live by look no touch.

LM: Of course.

FA: I have two 12-year-old nephews and I've had some real nice fantasies about them two. I remember, vividly, a morning while I was staying at my sister's place for a bit. My nephew walked into the kitchen and it was clear-as-day he had a little stiff rod in there. I was strong though, and I didn't do anything different to my normal morning routine. I did see him bumping it into the cupboard a few times. I imagine he enjoyed that.

LM: Probably.

FA: Regardless though, I never asked him anything about it. He never mentioned it either.

LM: No, best not.

FA: I admit, I kept looking, because I didn't know if what I was seeing was real.

LM: So have you ever played with a duck in the bath?

FA: Despite presense of opportunity and availability, I chose consciously to not do anything with my nephew.

FA: Actually, I haven't played with rubber ducks in the bathtub.

LM: Just as well, you didn't as those tiny holes in the back are a death trap.

FA: Definitely won't get much in those.

LM: You won't get much back out.

FA: I'll avoid putting anything into them.

LM: I would avoid it, yes.

LM: So have you ever had a pet?

FA: Various pets, yes. Two fish (not at the same time) and a cat. The fish died and I had to give the cat away because she misbehaved. Amazing cat, but she didn't quite understand how to use the litter box. Had her for four years.

LM: Oh wow, that's a long time. Did you miss her?

FA: Yes.

LM: *Hug*

FA: She's a strange cat, but that suits me, too. She's not a people cat. She doesn't like being held unless you're me. She hates sitting on people, and never does it. Except in the day before ... I had to let her go to her new place, she decided to sleep on me.

LM: If you could be any animal in the world, what would you be?

FA: Do people count as animals?

LM: Yes.

FA: I'd probably be another person. Ideally another BL but in a society where we're more accepted.

LM: Do you have a BL in mind?

FA: I don't get to take existing people's spots, so I'd be a new person.

LM: What's wrong with being you?

FA: I thought this was if I had to be something different. I like me, so I'd stay as me. If I had to change though, I'd turn into a different new BL.

LM: I like you, too.

FA: I never wanted to like boys, but I do. At first, I hated it, but I enjoy it now. The flawless nature of some boys is beyond words.

LM: What's the most micheivous thing you ever did?

FA: I accidentally deleted a logfile from my old college. A whole year worth of user log-in data (including computer names, account names, and exact times) got deleted.

LM: Accidentally?

FA: I shouldn't have known where that log was to begin with, but since I did, I wrote a script to embed a little secret message into the log. The first time, the script worked fine. The second time though, I missed a single character and it overwrote the whole log with the secret message, so I just deleted the whole file. Whoops...


FA: Thankfully I've never heard anything of it from anyone so I guess it didn't mean anything anyway.

LM: That's great. It's been a great pleasure quizzing you. One more thing ...

FA: Quiz me more if you feel. I enjoy this.

LM: Cool.

FA: Proceed.

LM: Could you give a motivational speech to encourage other child lovers?

FA: I could probably write one, if I was given enough time. Could I deliver it? I highly doubt that. I'm not good at public speaking, but I can plan and write very well. My first Ethos article was like that, in a way. "You are not Alone," it's called, in Issue 2 of Ethos.

LM: No, I mean can you make one up now on the spot lol.

FA: Motivation is difficult in a world where we're hated, so the motivation I'm thinking of is that to keep going. Me? I keep going because there is a boy I love. I would die for him. He is everything, and without him I might as well be a shell. Not everyone has someone like that, and for some they probably won't. There's different ways to be happy. I love this boy, but I enjoy helping people too. Am I good at it? That's each to their own. Little steps. You start with little steps. Don't limit yourself to a box. Don't ever limit your potential. I was afraid to even put the word boy and sex in one sentence before. A year has made me confident enough to admit that I am sexually interested in boys who are under the age of consent. I'm not sure how much motivation you're going to get from this.

FA: I would tell you to keep going because there is always more. There are always going to be more boylovers out there, and girl lovers, too. Your experiences can help the next. Even if you feel useless, you're not. I would want you to keep going, because I think staying alive is the strongest thing you can do in a world where they would sooner kill us than share basic necessities. I'm rambling.

FA: I hope this can be motivation for at least someone. A year ago ... I was a mess.

LM: That's okay, it's awesome.

FA: I'm not a mess anymore. I have little moments, sure, but I'm not a mess. You, every one of you, helped me. I am definitely not the last. Keep going for them.

LM: One final final question ...

FA: Okay.

LM: Boxers or briefs?

FA: I've never been sure of the difference between them, if I'm honest. Call me weird. Entirely random shout-out to WEIRD Radio too.

LM: Ah ... boxers are the ones that have mini trouser legs. Briefs are the ball huggers.

FA: In which case, briefs look better on a boy.

LM: And off.

FA: No doubt there. It's just a shame we don't get to see that unless we're a parent.

LM: Thank you so much, my friend, you are awesome.

FA: We'd be called pervs if we weren't the parent.

LM: I know.

FA: Don't forget, you are too.

LM: I am?

FA: You are. You're a good person. And an awesome friend to have.

LM: You are, too.

FA: Thanks.

LM: Hope you enjoyed being quizzed.

FA: I did. I hope you enjoyed strange answers.

LM: I will need a wank after that.